11 Lessons Our Relationship has Taught Us
A picture of us having fun in a dance club in 2010
It wasn't until Tuesday night this week, while we were reflecting on our day in our journal, that we realized the next day would be our 11 year dating anniversary. WOW!
Since it crept up on us we asked our community for ideas on how to celebrate in a last minute and spontaneous fashion.
One of the suggestions was to reflect on the most valuable lessons our relationship has taught us for each year we’ve been together.
In the spirit of service and to encourage you to build a thriving and conscious relationship that inspires you and lifts you higher, we wanted to share these 11 lessons:
You can’t create a thriving relationship without cultivating a thriving relationship with yourself. Start with you.
Infatuation brings you together, relationship intelligence keeps you together.
Nip any signs of criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt (shout out to the Gottman Institute) in the bud by starting with you and courageously communicating your needs.
Fill your cup, fill the relationship’s cup, and fill each other’s cups. Rinse and repeat. (Yes, that means we strive for both autonomy and connectedness in relationships).
Daily relationship check-ins are a game changer.
Be impeccable with your word (shout out to Don Miguel Ruiz) because words can build people up or tear people down.
Being present (focused, attentive, and open) is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, your partner(s), and others.
Listen to learn, not to reply.
Self-awareness is sexy (and underrated). It's a process.
Emotional intelligence and being emotionally available are not optional.
Relationship mastery takes deliberate practice, constant education, unrelenting compassion, and is one of the best investments you’ll ever make. Everything is better when we have healthier relationships.
If you’d like our help to get the knowledge, skills, and attitudes of the most thriving and successful relationships in the world, we’re here for you.
Let's normalize being intentional and conscious about our relationships.
Sometimes you just need a little nudging, coaching, and feedback to go from stressed out to feeling in the zone in your relationship.
We’re not two halves, we’re two wholes sharing a path and we’re inviting you to join the movement!
Which lesson resonates with you from this list? Do you have others?
David and Lindsey
Co-founders of Relationship Zen and creators of the Thriving Relationship Academy
