Clever Ways to Diffuse Arguments with Your Partner
We’ve written a lot about how to have healthier arguments that you can grow from. This post is different because we’ll share 2 unconventional ways to respectfully diffuse arguments.
Start by watching the super short video below, then come back to this blogpost to understand WHY it works.
So why does skillfully complimenting (read: acknowledging and recognizing) your partner work to diffuse arguments?
Because offering a genuine compliment reminds each of you that you're not enemies and that you're on the same team, EVEN when you disagree.
It gets your brain to refocus on the positives, like the fact that your partner just validated your feelings, made a good point, shared their needs, or engaged in the conversation in the first place.
It shifts you from an offence or defence, to something more open and collaborative.
Why does complimenting your partner in an off-topic way help diffuse arguments?
Because it disrupts patterns and vicious cycles that are so common in recurring arguments.
When you interrupt the pattern, it can provide you with a brief moment to take a deep breath and approach things with a level head.
Of course, this tactic is not to be misused as a way to deflect issues or to avoid important conversations. It’s more of a light and warm refresh rather than a shut down.
Arguing is not bad. It's how you argue that matters.
Give these tips a try and let us know how it goes.
Let's normalize being intentional and conscious about our relationships.
Sometimes you just need a little nudging, coaching, and feedback to go from stressed out to feeling in the zone in your relationship.
We’re not two halves, we’re two wholes sharing a path and we’re inviting you to join the movement!
David and Lindsey
Co-founders of Relationship Zen and creators of the Thriving Relationship Academy
