5 Reasons to Flirt With Your Partner
“Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction.”
Dr. S.w. Gangestad
It’s come to our attention that many people (including us!) eventually stop flirting with their partners.
Is it because we’re no longer attracted to one another? No.
Is it because flirting is so often confined to the beginning stages of relationships - when there’s more fun, desire, mystery, anticipation and a certain level of unpredictability in the air? Maybe.
Can flirting help to keep those vibes going over the long run? Yes!
We also found, through preliminary research using Google, that advice and tips for flirting with someone you’re already in a relationship with are hard to come by.
So, in order to build on what's healthy and as a sort of experiment, we decided to set a goal to flirt with each other again. To be honest, it was weird at first and we’ve literally had to re-train ourselves to flirt with each other!
We know that flirting may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but hear us out!
Here are the reasons that we, as a long-term couple who reintroduced flirting a couple months ago, think it’s healthy to keep flirting (as long as it’s consensual) no matter how long you’ve been together.
5 Reasons to Flirt With Your Partner Today
IT’S FUN: Flirting is playful and enjoyable. Once we accepted that flirting can be silly (sometimes ridiculous) and attractive at the same time (as long as it’s sincere and respectful), we’ve found that it’s a surefire way to create laughter and positive memories.
IT INCREASES INTIMACY: Flirting causes you to anticipate your partner’s intentions and actions. We feel that that kind of mystery and curiosity can boost energy and keep the desire burning.
IT SHOWS THAT YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED: Flirting is used to build rapport. If someone you like flirts with you, it can boost your self-esteem and openness by making you feel valued, wanted and appreciated. It goes both ways!
IT KEEPS THE RELATIONSHIP ALIVE: Flirting can be an antidote to monotony. In long-term relationships, other priorities like work, bills and children can easily take over. Flirting brings our focus back to our relationship’s needs - to what brought us together in the first place. What we focus on continually grows!
IT KEEPS (COM)PASSION ALIVE: It reminds us that we both still appreciate, care, and desire one another, even if we may have forgotten at times.
At first it was a bit weird to bring back flirting, but as you can see, it’s totally worth it!
Tips for flirting with your partner
Add a gentle consensual touch whenever appropriate;
Make eye contact for a little longer than usual (but not too long);
Smile, lean-in, and face your partner;
Giggle or laugh at your partner’s jokes;
Offer a positive and/or playful complement about their looks, behaviours, etc.; and,
Try to remember what you did at the beginning of your relationship if you flirted with each other and try it out again! Or, explore a new realm of flirting altogether.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, the sun is hot and so are you.”
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We’re not two halves, we’re two wholes sharing a path and we’re inviting you to join the movement!
David and Lindsey
Your trusted conscious relationship coaches
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